I’m learning to listen more closely to the push-me pull-me dance that goes on in my strong, sometimes relentless will to get things done; making a struggled journey of even the more noble motives to understand or be understood, to serve; where good works miss their mark of God’s intended arch.
I know the difference between the push-me to get it done vs allowing God to pull-me through with ease and delight. I know how it feels in my body, mind and spirit when I push and push to meet the deadline (even self imposed); to sacrifice listening and heeding God’s timing and expressions for the sake of getting it over with – accomplishment – crossed off the list – finished.
And I know the feeling and flow of stepping aside in consent to let God pull me through whatever process is next. The job or the person in front of me as the next right thing to pay attention to – or the pause and hold that will better serve God’s flow and fulfillment of His will.
Then why, when I know so surely the positive and truly loving results when pulled by God, do I fight not pushing? I guess this is where the pause comes in, with intended prayer: God, help me to not push-me; help me to wait and trust your pull. Amen.