Yesterday was not a particularly good day. I wallowed and ate and watched tv and sulked and called out to God a few times but it was like yelling into the grand canyon… all I could hear was me – me – me. Well, that plus this incessant screaming in my head!
I restrained from caffeine; my whole two-tea-bag-a-day addiction. It was a small attempt to disconnect links between caffeine and “the scream“. By late afternoon the headache showed up – right on schedule and right alongside the inside siren.
I’m drinking tea today.
And, I’m beginning to wonder if the winter weather grays are getting to me and making me literally a bit S.A.D. Is it any wonder the Midwest is a self-contained, hold-your-breath-until-it’s-over kind of place? And that I ran to the sun of the south just as soon as I could?
The good news is that I have people to meet today and I can do it. Yesterday I talked myself into believing that I couldn’t, and I probably couldn’t (or shouldn’t) have. I hate admitting to that -bowing to that self-centered sink hole of depression.
And one more thing, since no-one is interrupting or editing me as they probably should. My bra is too tight. I try to tell myself that maybe it’s because it is freshly out of the dryer. But that isn’t true; it hasn’t seen the laundry room for longer than I care to admit.
A too-tight bra makes me want to hide out. A loose fitting one means freedom to do things around the house and in the greater place called life with friends! And whoa, if my bra is loose and fresh from you know where… well, its bonus time. An almost magical elixir for social introverts!
But, my bra is too tight. And as I try to wrap this up I have to admit that yesterday I rained on my own parade a bit. Looks like the sun is going to come out today so let me push send and get out and into this day.