Category Archives: Meditations

Now, What are We going to Do?

Now, let’s ask ourselves the question: how can we fund and provide support for the babies and families where fathers deny/leave without responsibility?

How can we fund and support young mothers and their child who experience delivering a special needs baby, or, generational poverty or are not resourced by family or personal means? How are we to encourage adoption of infants and older American children in need of homes? How can we fund and up our support for mental and educational help for those who are raped by strangers or worse family or friends? (I know this happens…it happened to me at knife-point when I was 27 and a complete stranger broke into my house in the middle of the night. It was the knife or rape. I chose rape.)

Continue reading Now, What are We going to Do?


What is God’s will?

This question has followed me around all of my days, but today, “this” is the answer that I want to become better at accepting.

This place. This moment. This feeling. This body.

It seems that I don’t get to say what God’s will is for others even as I sometimes try to control or wrangle or direct. But today, one grace-filled nano-second at a time, I want to practice trusting that God’s will for me is in the holy now of This.

10,000 + One

Who is to say how many times it takes hearing, “I love you,” to really hear it? Receive it? Accept it?

It was a year and a half before one day, in the midst of an argument with my boyfriend (now husband) that I heard it. My 10,000 plus one sounded like this:

“You know, just because we are arguing, we are not breaking up. You know that, right?”

No. I had not known that.

Continue reading 10,000 + One

All Saints Day

The following excerpts from ROSETEARS tell of a very special and sacred moment at the Pecos Monastery nine years ago today. It was the moment I knew, in my soul, that love is eternal. I pray it brings you peace, or nudges you to recall your special moment of sensing loved ones nearby. Love to all, always.

“That same year [2012], as my broken heart struggled to find its rhythm without family and farmhouses that had vanished, I went on a surprisingly short yet monumental-for-me retreat to a Benedictine monastery in Pecos, New Mexico. There, even though I had not named what I wanted or needed, the earth, sky, wind, and spirit of the land stood up and volunteered to be my new home of soul on earth.”

“As that first retreat happened to fall on All Saints’ Day, I felt nudged to look to the blue New Mexican skies and sink into the crisp near-winter wind for a soul-sense of my loved ones, now saints with The Others.” 

“Now, all these miles and years and funeral homes later, this small pine sheltered among the trees of New Mexico somehow reminded me of Dad’s tree still standing at its now regal height on the flat planes of the farm. I crouched down on the path, and squinting against the late autumn sun, blindly snapped a few shots with my phone while having no idea if the subject was within the frame.” 

“That night, surrounded by books and journals in my cozy, creaky bed, I reviewed the photos I had taken and discovered the small pine had not only been centered within the frame but was mysteriously illuminated by three distinct arches of lavender light streaming brilliant coronations of love.”

“That tree, on the walking path beside the Pecos River, became for me Trudy’s tree—a tribute to our memories and a tangible marker of eternal love.”-excerpts from ROSETEARS, pgs 59-61