Category Archives: Self Care

We don’t get more gold stars for doing it the hardest way.

Meditations, Self Care, ,

This morning I decided that I will let myself walk only the flat surfaces of my usual route. Maybe do that twice instead of pushing, huffing, and puffing, and stressing my heart on the steep hill back up. Practice gentle long strides instead of doing it the hardest way – a lesson that keeps calling to me to practice, but merit-thinking is hard to release. So ingrained in me was:

“You have to do it the hardest way for it to count.”

WRONG! Not right thinking.

We don’t get more gold stars for doing it the hardest way. We find well being in listening to the pace of our souls, and body.

I’m headed out now for my longer, gentler walk.

Infusion

Inspiration Art, Meditations, Self Care, ,

These times require me to seek and steep in an infusion of love. A million messages a day invite me to choose compassion or loathing. In a millisecond of scrolling, I am dragged to gutters of rage or the deepest of heartaches.

I can’t deny the algorithms I trigger with every click or like, nor the cumulative effect these choices have on my sensitive soul. But I am certain, if not always willing, that the next Right Action is always compassion for myself and for all beings, closely followed by choosing infusions of love to fortify my heart.

“Our mind is like a garden, and we are the gardener. We can cultivate flowers or weeds. Whatever we plant and water will grow. Every piece of information, every conversation, every image, every sound we take in is a seed. If we are mindful, we can choose which seeds to water – whether they are seeds of joy, peace, and compassion, or seeds of anger, fear, and craving.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

Light of the Firefly

"This" Series, Meditations, Self Care, , ,
Light of the Firefly © twyatt2022

It’s a little cooler. Still humid though. Damp, overcast, still. Quiet — eerily so.

It’s a busy day. Several zoom meetings, groceries to get, and then I need to make one more phone call this afternoon.

I am very upset. I have gained back all the weight I slaved to take off three years ago. I don’t like the way I look, or the way this feels. But, I am the same soul inside this puffy coat.

All roads out of this “coat” lead to grief. There is sadness in giving up my favorite foods — cookies, in particular. And, hope is dashed in feeling young again — lighter, less trapped and controlled by how tight these jeans feel.

Without much thought, I slip into old defaults of creating calendars with harsh diets and fantastical weight goals, followed by the predictable genuflect at the WW altar app. I pull up just in time to remember and write:

One day at a time. This day at this time.

It really is about one day at a time. This body. This mind, and most importantly — this soul.

What does this soul want most of all?

To be loved. To express. To be allowed to imagine and play as a soul alone, and a soul with others.

Long after the flesh has rotted and these bones have turned to dust,
this soul will carry on.
Its light and energy bound to nothing
and everything and everywhere without a how.
I can know this when the fires of fear fade to smoke,
and the smoke of yesterday’s stories clear — if but for a moment.
Maybe no longer than the firefly’s short glory against the darkening sky,
but long enough, at least,
to light one speck of space
in the humid blanket hovering over the bean field.

Well Wishes

"This" Series, Meditations, Self Care, ,

I was journaling this morning about disappointment in the scale and in myself. Then an idea came:

What if I dropped into this body, as it is today, from outer space and no time? No expectation, control, or history of disappointment or pain in hearing ‘tub of lard’ as a teen?

I’d look around it, inventory all the working parts, look under the hood and kick the tires and determine that ‘she’s got a few good years in her yet’. (I’m 67.) Relatively healthy. No major diseases and all fingers and toes and senses accounted for.

I took a sip of gratitude from the well of real, not should.

Then, I saw my sense of entitlement.

I had never seen or owned this before. I saw how all of my life I had hated what my body was and wasn’t. I was busy drinking Diet Rite Cola, then Tab, then diet Coke and binging on pizza in the dark. All the while mad and confused because I was big, not small. Somewhere believing that the ‘small’ women were the good women. The women of value.

In response to this old and familiar reflection I heard that new word coming out of this broken record song: entitlement.

Ouch.

And a real question:

Where did I get the idea that I was entitled to eat without restraint AND be slimmer than the average?

After the horror and embarrassment of seeing (and feeling) this honesty come forward, a measure of self compassion sneaked in as well. Then, I returned to reading from my meditation books and ultimately landing

here.

Today I am agreeing to love my body-self as I am right now—as I have been dropped into this good healthy miracle of flesh and thinking, spirit and senses without any of my doing or merit.

This morning I am making a decision to support myself with good choices. This includes connecting here, and wishing all of us well too.

One day at a time.

This day.

This.

In-fu-sion

Meditations, Self Care 
the act or process of infusion // an infusion of new ideas [love]

Purpose: reset and re-establish a more loving relationship with my Self

How: infuse conscious acts of self-care and love during a chosen window of time

Personal love language for self care: Meditation & prayer, walks, water, eating with integrity*, journaling, meeting with friends, support of others, rest

Timeframe: Nov 1 – Nov 24, with possible renewal

Accountability: 1) to my Self and my journal 2) support others who show up

*Eating with Integrity (personal choices during this specific timeframe): fruits, veggies, grains, nuts, eggs and fish before 7pm

  • Breakfast: oatmeal, almond milk, fruit, seeds, eggs or nut butters
  • Lunch: veggies and grains
  • Dinner: veggie soup before 7pm
  • Snacks: fruits, nuts, veggies

NOTE TO READERS: I welcome text connection during this infusion timeframe if this feels like loving support to your own reset of self care. Contact me through the above CONTACT link about staying connected between now and November 24, 2021.